Therapy with a Coaching Edge by Lynn Grodzki

Author:Lynn Grodzki
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company

Make It Relevant

Linda’s next session starts with a check-in about her research. She has gone farther than she (and I) had expected and found a program for her son. She called and got an application and made a submission. To do this, she needed to advocate for her son’s attendance to a program for students in recovery, and she planned what to say and made sure she used a calm, professional delivery. She did this while her husband napped and with her office door closed. She is proud of her accomplishment. I validate her progress, with praise, the same way that Andrew validated any and all forward movement with me.

“What’s next?” she asks.

“I can see you have strong research skills. What is another project that appeals to you, perhaps one that stays on the expense reduction side of the work equation, but requires research?”

We spend the session brainstorming things she might want to research at home on her computer. I am not invested in the content of the research, but want her to expand her ability into new areas. Linda decides that she could do some research about her husband’s medication regime, to make sure that he is being well treated and not over-medicated. She also likes the idea of researching how to start a home business, although she has no specific ideas. She can research how to replace storm windows, one of her home repairs. Again, I suggest that all of this constitutes work. She is building muscles and skill sets that will be needed when she moves forward to generate income and find a paying job.

In this session, I also ask about any other skills that Linda has, ones that she relied on when she was a lawyer. She says she liked writing briefs and considers herself a good technical writer. “That is very interesting to hear,” I say. “Anything else I should know about you?” Linda warms to the acknowledgment and tells me a long story about a case she worked on at her firm, her “shining moment in law,” she calls it. She sits up straighter as she talks. This is a shift into a working persona, and one that I attend to, and again validate.

“This was a good moment for you in your career,” I acknowledge, and she agrees.

By talking about the positive memories of work and encouraging her to use her researching and writing ability for personal projects, I am rebuilding Linda’s professional sense of herself. Even though she lost her job, she did not lose her skills. In future sessions, I will continue to look for more capacity, anything that can contribute to the larger goal: generating income.

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